Ask Mikey!

Anonymous asked: Recently, its like my best friend and I have been becoming more and more distant. I'm glad that he has new friends, don't get me wrong. But I feel like he just doesn't want to be around me anymore. Me and him used to spend every weekend together and now its just gone and whenever I try to talk to him about it, he thinks I'm having a go at him hanging out with new people, but that's just not how it is at all. Everyone I know kept telling me to give it more time and it will all settle down, but its been about six months now. I miss him so much. I loved that we were proving to everyone that a boy and a girl could be best friends without it becoming complicated, but now whenever I mention it, they just look at me as if to say "I told you so." I would prefer support as opposed to that.

Now that I don't have our friendship like it was before, I just feel depressed.
I was hit recently by the realisation that I'm not really happy anymore unless I'm at a gig. Music plays such a huge part in my life and I've become so much more dependant on it now that he isn't there. When I almost never got tickets to see my favourite band, it felt like my heart had dropped out of my chest and it wasn't a feeling of happiness I got when I did get the tickets, it was relief.
Whenever I try to talk to anyone about this, I get told that I'm just overreacting. Maybe I am, but it's just how I feel.

Is it wrong that going to see bands is the only thing that makes me truly happy?
I wish I could just go back to being me without having a dependancy on this.
I'm trying so hard to stay smiling around my other friends because I'm fed up of being laughed at when I try to explain what's wrong, its like they think I'm joking or just don't think it's that big of a deal.
I'm constantly the one to give out advice, but for once, I don't think I can do this on my own anymore.

Anyway, I hope you are able to give me some advice on this, thank you. <3

If your male friend truly valued your friendship the way you do, he would probably be around more. Everyone should make new friends…..you can never have enough friends. However  you can’t neglect your old ones……….they know you better and over time even though the new friends may seem cool, that could change very quickly.  I suspect if he needs genuine support or help he will come running back to you. Will that make him realize what he is doing? Perhaps. But if not, you need to face the fact that he is most likely not as a good a friend as you thought, and it’s time for you to make some new friends as well it would seem.

Music is a great outlet for emotion and it doesn’t surprise me that you feel great at a show or listening. BUT as much as music makes you happy, you need to find other things. You are sort of pigeonholing yourself to one avenue of happiness, and you definitely need more. Seek out things, try new stuff, experiment! I mean this in a healthy way with new people, books, entertainment, events, etc.

A good exercise would be to imagine that you’re deaf. So music can’t be what you need it to be……..what would you do?  You must find things that bring joy in your life outside of this, it’s pretty imperative. Exploration is key. If your friends aren’t taking you seriously……..I do think it’s time to re-evaluate what “friends” means and if these people are indeed living up to your definition.

Hang in and be aware that there are so many blessings and beautiful things in front of you everyday that we all take for granted. It will help. :)

Anonymous asked: I don't know if you still look at this or not, but I don't really know who else to talk to. >.< I've just been feeling so empty for the past few weeks and my friends keep asking me what is wrong, but in all honesty, I just don't know what to say to them. Now they're getting mad at me for being so distant, but I don't mean to be. Recently, I just don't know what to say about anything anymore, so I just sort of stopped saying much? If that even makes sense :/ Thank you for your time if you do read this. <3

Well, we all go through periods of time where we simply don’t know what to say. You need to do a little soul searching and figure out what exactly the issues are……what has changed for you recently…..in an emotional sense, a physical sense, etc etc. The trick is not to dwell in the way you feel…..you need to be very proactive in climbing out of it and finding answers. Talk to your parents if you can about this and try to keep your head up. Also, try to remember what’s important to you and what makes you feel happy…….try to connect with those things again!

Anonymous asked: I am not happy with my life and the way time goes so fast and i just wanna sleep all the time and not be aware that i exist but at the same time i dont want that at all and i kind of just want to kiss somebody and i dont know why but ive wanted to for months because ive been like this for quite some time now but im still in my room doing nothing wishing i could sleep and that is why i am here and this is technically not a question at all its a run on sentence but i am hoping you might have some smart words to give me :/

I think you should talk to your parents/doctor about the way you feel to get to the root of the problem. I also know that if you OVERTHINK things you end up worrying more about life than actually living it. STOP THINKING AND START DOING! And remember: LIFE BEGINS WHERE YOUR COMFORT ZONE ENDS!

Anonymous asked: I just turned 16 and a half and I feel pretty old. The other day someone asked my age and I had to think. I thought only 40 year olds lost track of that shit. I dont wanna get old. This has been bothering me way too much lately. I know theres nothing I can do about it. I just don't wanna grow up.

Theres a saying and it goes, “Youth is wasted on the young.” You have to gain perspective on what you are going through. There is so much ahead of you and so much to look forward to….and all of that only comes with getting older and having new experiences. Not to mention all the fun you are having right now as a teenager! Just try to enjoy all the experiences and know that there are so many ahead of you as you grow up! You wont be disappointed. :)

Anonymous asked: So, I have these two friends. One of them introduced me to the other but now they're no longer friends. I made plans with the one that I haven't known as long and now my other friend seems to be mad at me for it, am I doing the right thing being friends with both of them? I didn't think it was an issue until now. Please help? =/

Hey there. This always seems to come up with people in one way or another. Here’s the thing. If a friend introduces you to someone and you become friends with them, it is my feeling that your new friendship has NOTHING to do with the older one. You don’t owe loyalty anywhere, a friend is a friend. If the one who is mad was mature, they would understand that this new friendship is a separate entity. Just because they introduced you to each other means nothing outside of that fact. But hey, that’s just my opinion. You will have to make a decision on how to handle it, but if someone tries to force a decision, you should really think about who your real friends are.

Anonymous asked: I need an easy way to deal with stress. I cant sleep when I'm like this and I've been tired for days. I really want to sleep but I can't. The stress goes away when I'm doing other things but then I stop and everything is still there and it's getting to be too much. I just want it to leave for a while so I can fall asleep. Help?

stress is a mental predicament. you have to learn to center yourself and not worry so much, its a terrible use of the imagination. When you lie down, close your eyes and clear your mind. Inhale positive thoughts, exhale worry. Breathe in for 3, out for 6. try that and see how it goes!

Anonymous asked: Dear Mikey,
I know two girls that love you very much. They just wish you would love them back equally. WHY WON'T YOU LOVE THEM BACK WITH EQUALITY, GODDAMNIT!f?l
Sincerely, Anon

I do Anon! I dooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous asked: I feel like all of my friends disappeared. I always try to make plans but for some reason it never works out. I even told one that I missed him but he didn't seem to care at all. They seem to forget that I exist and I'll be alone in my room for months. Sometimes I just wanna be done with everything. But then I see them again and it's like they never left. But then the day ends and I'm back in my room. And its hurting me. I cant handle them inviting me out one day and then leaving me for another 3 months. I don't know what to do about this. I don't know how to get their attention.

I’m saying you need to talk about this with them. You’ll be surprised the benefits produced when you are honest with how u feel…esp with friends. Even if they are busy, you need to not stay in your room all the time. I don’t care if you go for a walk, a drive, go see a movie…..whatever. Just sitting at home not doing anything is not good for your soul.

Anonymous asked: Okay so the other night, I had friends over, a few from out of town, and we were drinking. I ended up getting pretty drunk and said I wanted a cuddle buddy for the night. Both wanted to so I said I'd be the middle spoon. That didn't work out for a few reasons and I ended up just cuddling with one friend. In the middle of the night, he wanted to move to the couch because there were 4 of us on my bed. We did and one thing let to another and we ended up kissing and some other stuff. We almost had sex but I stopped it before it went too far. When we woke up, we didn't talk about it and avoided the subject altogether. After they left later that day, I found out he has a girlfriend and I didn't know about it. I don't know what to do because I've always said that I would never ever want to be cheated on or have somebody cheat with me. It would figure though, I'm always the hook up. What should I do?

Well first of all, you shouldn’t ever have a lot of alcohol involved when it comes to situations like this. It’s really irresponsible and obviously poor decisions can be made. Also, alcohol doesn’t make your decisions ok…..”well I was drunk” doesnt cure stds, pregnancy, or the fact that someone cheated. I’m happy you didn’t do it, but don’t let these kind of situations happen to you. Also, if you don’t always wanna be the hook up, dont make yourself available to be so. It’s that simple!

Anonymous asked: I don't know if you remember but I am the one who is afraid of people... I feel like shit. I don't know why. Nothing has changed. I saw actual people outside of school like a month or so ago which I was pretty happy about. I've been okay. But now I don't feel okay at all and I don't know why. I just want people around all the time, but my only friends hardly notice I'm there. It's like I have no friends at all and they are just people that let me sit at their lunch table. I know the obvious thing to do would be just ask someone if they want to go somewhere, but I'm afraid to. I'm afraid that they don't even like me and I don't want to be annoying or anything. I just can't be alone anymore. Which is strange since I feel completely awkward around people. I just want to be noticed, you know? It's like they forget I exist sometimes.

Also I would like a hug.

Another thing I was hoping you might help me with is that I wanted to ask my mom to let me do a martial art but I'm afraid to ask. I feel like she gives me food and a place to live and if I ask for anything more I'm being greedy. But I would really like to learn to fight. I just have no clue how to ask. I don't really talk to my parents much...

Also you are amazing for doing this blog and I love you very much.

Well, the whole fear thing is just because youve never done it! Put it out there to see if someone wants to hang out with you. Worst thing that happens: They say no. So what? If they do, you are in no different of a position you are in now, right? Just because you FEEL you are perceived a certain way doesnt mean its true. People see you in a totally different light than you see yourself, guaranteed. Push your comfort level and make it so people know youre around!

Martial Arts are very good for confidence and health purposes. Again it never hurts to ask your parents for something like this and to make it clear that it would have a positive impact on your life. Learning to defend yourself is good, learning to fight is not. Make sure you do it for the right reasons! <3